How to Command Respect

How to Command Respect

From Yourself — and Then Others

This message is for the man or young fella who desires to level up his life and transform into a Man of Great Respect.

It starts with you.

There’s no faking it.
No demanding people roll out a red carpet.
That kind of energy leads to narcissism, not respect.

But there is a practical, authentic way to change how you carry yourself through intentional effort and disciplined habits. Do that — and you’ll project self-respect and exude a quiet confidence that draws better treatment from others… especially women.

Walk with self-worth. Shoulders back. Chin up.
And in fact—slow down.

A man of great respect is not hurried, fidgety, or frantic. He moves with calm authority, unfazed by his surroundings. Walk a bit slower if you tend to rush. Think before you speak. Process before reacting.

1. DRESS LIKE THE MAN YOU WANT TO BE RESPECTED

If you’re serious about commanding respect, lose the baggy, gothic, or lazy attire.
It looks immature, unfocused, and screams confusion about who you are.

You don’t need to wear a $2,000 suit — but you do need to care. Your presentation is your armor.

I once dated a woman whose teenage son dressed like a slacker year-round — dark oversized clothes, sweaters in summer, all of it. He talked a big game but looked defeated. Sadly, there were deep roots behind that. Still, the lesson was clear: successful men are repelled by that look, and high-value women flee from it.

I learned early on the power of appearance. As a 19-year-old in court for speeding tickets, I decided to dress sharp — a suit, clean shave, polished shoes. I noticed right away how judges, officers, and even strangers treated me differently. Respect often starts with appearance.

So level up. You don’t need designer labels. Just a clean, fitted outfit that signals intentionality.
And yes — buy at least one suit.
You’ll need it someday for an interview, meeting, or mentorship moment. $150 at Belk or Target will do. A bold tie can elevate it even more.

2. FIND PEACE

A man of war should seek peace.

Every real man — whether a soldier, a father, or a seasoned leader — eventually learns that peace is the highest prize.

If you show me a man who’s constantly out of control, angry, or combative, I’ll show you a man who doesn’t command *true* respect.
He doesn’t lead — he intimidates.
That’s not power; that’s instability.

Master peace, and you master presence.

3. REDIRECT THE DANGER

A man should be dangerous — capable of great harm, yet disciplined enough to never cause it.

Prisons are full of men who never learned self-control. They confused recklessness for strength.
Real strength is being capable — but composed.

A good man isn’t harmless.
He’s harmless by choice.

Train your body. Sharpen your mind. Be ready to protect.
But never be the threat.

4. DON’T SELL — STAND

Never beg for agreement.
Never sell your boundaries.

Speak your truth calmly, then stand on it.

If you’re debating or discussing with a woman, a buddy, or your mother — listen first. Think. Respond with clarity, not desperation. You don’t need to win every argument. You just need to stand firm in truth.

Desperation, anxiety, or over-explaining shows weakness.
Stillness shows confidence.

And as I often tell the men in our Man of Valor membership community, that STRENGTH doesn’t shout — it stands.

5. BE INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR DATES AND DETAILS

Winging it is for boys.
Planning is for men.

When you plan a date, you communicate leadership. You relieve her of decision fatigue and show you’re confident enough to guide.

But don’t overdo it. Classy doesn’t mean expensive. A $300 dinner and tux only set unrealistic expectations.

Instead, test her heart early. Take her somewhere simple — a park, coffee shop, or mini golf. Watch how she responds to humility and simplicity. Does she value you, or the trinkets?

Also, pay attention to details. The small things matter — her favorite mug, her car detailed, her comfort considered. Service and awareness build respect faster than any speech.

6. CONFIDENT, NOT ARROGANT

Confidence says, “I know who I am.”
Arrogance says, “I’m better than you.”

Confidence attracts. Arrogance isolates.

True confidence is born from character — from doing the hard internal work that most men avoid. You can’t fake it. When your character is solid, confidence flows naturally.

Arrogance, on the other hand, is insecurity with a loudspeaker. It’s not power — it’s proof of emptiness.

So stand tall, but stay humble.
Lead quietly.
Win without boasting.

(For more on this, check out the High Value Man post at ManofValorus.com)

Final Words

These are time-tested principles that any man, anywhere, can use to live a more respected, grounded, and honorable life.

Be a Respectable Man of Valor,
Brad Bennett
Founder